pills of floyd

Now that I'm alone I feel the lonely brokenness
Of all the wicked avenues I've ever sold my love on
All these moments of meekness and trembling subsided
I'm the outright abandon of this orphan child
Home is on the highway living on soft bread and solace
I guess I'm waiting for nightfall or a solar eclipse
And to wake up half empty
Only to be filled again with mourning
He's my evil shadow dove
My black Palamito
Can't break him like a diamond skull
I can't seem to do so
Can't just rob him out like the
Mob used to do so
Like memories of porno and tearstains
And tobacco O it's a mini disastro
Bigger than the ice age don't know if baby dinosaurs
Maybe could live through it, like Indians and butterflies
What's crushed is my spirit, Oh I fear it is too fragile
Like fall leaves burn like paper

I always knew I would spend a lot of time alone
No one would understand me
Maybe I should go and live amongst the animals
Spend all my time amongst the animals
And on the tracks I would go they lead to the sea
To be amongst the animals

Oh I'm just afall leaf something simple and shy lie that
That's how my heart lies down beside the sidewalk
Like an empty restaurant filled with perfume and balloons
I sit and entertain the bisarro ghosts of my soul
His name still lingers maybe lactates on my tongue
Perhaps I'm just teething for a foreign fallen destiny
Miserable but mine, I look like his mother
Or Sophia Loren in an old fashioned movie
Slow motion I cling to my child desperate for love
One day soon my brother died, made me remember all the
Subordinate feelings I cast aside
Maybe I had lied when I said I was ok
Just getting along like a little song that stops to sing and say
"Wild willow, windy winter won't you blow through me
My whole eternity"

To all the boys and girls outside
You know I didn't cry
But you saw me anyway
In the back of the creek one day
And if you're trying to get a ride
On a roller skate or a bike
Just ask me and I'll take you round
The block and back this way again
To all the boys and girls outside
Why don't you come and fly with me
I'll show you why I ran away
The other day from my mom and dad
All the boys and the girls outside
I know you got crazy things inside
And that's why I got crazy style
I go so fast around the block
And as I do so I sing this song to you

Sunshine oh sunshine
If you don't know why you shine
You have to go into the sun
You'll have to go inside

just reach home from a realli meaningless ktv trip..just to keep a promise. and the promise is simple, i shall not "fly them plane" again..haha
yea them my two friends. basically there to accompany one of them while the other is surrounded by young girls, cant wait to stick around him. haha..its funny lookin at them trying to share his jacket...pushing to one another, denying that they aint cold..jeez..for goodness sake, its just a jacket! take it if u are cold. haha oh jeez..i cant help finding it amusing. maybe im really just odd, or lack of that sense of "sweetness", more of being straightforward. there are numbers of time im freezing in cinema, he passed me his jacket and i just took it..simple as that..isnt it? am i thinkin too little or are those pple thinkin too much? i didn know they gona have a ktv session, if i have known..maybe i would "fly plane" again.haha i just sat there stoning..while two of them entertaining pple in the room. and i sat there, feeling as though im becoming part of the furniture haha..yea i really feel that man cos im almost invisible. a friend of his keep askin if im ok..umm how u define ok? i just smiled and said im..and staring back at the tv screen with mtvs flashing..pple singing..

i realise im not sociable at all. haha and im really bad at pretending to join in a crowd. umm put it the other way..i cant even bring myself to pretend what im not enjoying. but i figure out it doesnt really matter anyway..cos im almost invisible. and realising being a non smoker in an all smoker group, the more independent and self entertaining i should be. my two friends just went out smoking, leaving me to join the furniture. haha. they are pretty used to me stoning quietly, so most of the time either they entertain me by teasing me with some nonsense or simply leave me alone building my castle in the air. so whats the matter with me? am i really such a serious person who takes life and everything else too seriously that i cant speak some entertaining words to just get me in a crowd. well i can actually, talking communicating striking conversation, but just i dun find any meaning to it. why try to talk for the sake of it? 

his friend asked me dun i feel bored if im not singing..i just smiled again. a question passed my mind " dont he feel bored singing and tryin to blend in the crowd?" 

then my friend asked me  "dont i ever feel bored?" 
stunned by that question from him, i just said "no. at least not frequent."
and continued " if i were to feel bored, guess i will always be bored cos i cant blend into crowds" 

he laughed. 

i dun really like to use the word "bored". maybe to me, its either im enjoying or not. i like or dislike. i dun like singing, dun like pretending to strike conversation, but tat doesnt mean im bored. 

oh something that im proud of....first time ever i managed to say something to my friend and get him dumbfolded. hahaha..
he was complaining he's having headache so i just told him go back get a gd rest. he gave me that smirk and asked "go back to your place?" hahaha (for four years i know him, he's been asking me the same thing whenever he sees me, so its almost like a yadayada thing he would just teaseme about) 

i replied him " nah you have so many girls waiting for you to go home with them" hahaha its true i think those girls are smittened by "his charm" i guess. haha 

its really funny. im not sure if he's really interested in them..but guess sometimes its gd to have some young girls around to pass time. 
me and the other friend cant stop laughing when we saw this girl keeps touchin up her makeup..my friend asked me "does pple really have to be so vain" it beats me too. i mean no one can realli see your blusher and lip gloss when u are under that kind of lighting condition. haha..jeez....im feelin im from another world looking into this world. 

oh well endup i really cant stand the room, the almost monotonous mandarin songs drives me nuts. i realli want to just plug in my mp3 to my own music. so i left, leaving the guys to their night. 

so here im back to my own music own world of journal writing....when i can simply say what i want...

the night is breezy. i like it. tho its a little lonely here. 

i finally completed my xmas catalogue!!! and jeez...its 68 pages thick! cant wait for it to be printed n form into a proper booklet..tho afraid of the result it might turned out...
been workin hard whole week..n finally got a rest day today, but yet feel alittle bored at home..i wanted to shop!!! but im too lazy to head out of my house..(too lazy to even head to the minimart nearby for a packet of chips) haha...craving for milk somehow..banana milk!

saw this moisturizer packaging in a paint tube form:
http://www.spacenk.com/ProductDetails.aspx?pid=0268%2f9537%2f10009%2f&cid=PSKINSKFACE&language=en-US
i want one of these!

havent even get a shower! hahahaha LAZY!

well im doing alittle "visual shopping" @ notcot.com

yeah a new term pop into my mind while surfin the web..meaning "lookin at those things that u would love to buy" haha..yeah..sometimes we just need alittle shopping to fullfill our craves our desire to pamper ourselves...but yet too lazy to go out or perhaps we dont realli need those things anyway..its best to do "visual shopping" to have an instant fix rather then looking for storage space for those junks from impulsive buying.. 

just saw these lv thingy..well im definately not a branded stuff person n nv like lv stuffs..but i certainly love their "marketing" and brand direction! check out murakami gala! jeez...its such expensive stuff..1000 for an entry..this is crazy! but realli i wish i could get a chance to hold such events! you know where you get all the budgets and u can just simply throw out all your imagination and make the best out of it, taking care of every details you can think of..and realli i mean putting in on the tots for pple, be it consumers or not..simply everyone..

http://www.giantrobot.com/blogs/eric/2007/10/takashi-murakami-gala.html

wondering if i should take a marketing diploma..just for the sake of a cert! course i dun think marketing realli need those knowledge..from the text book cos seems like lot of marketers i noe are plain boring and highly uncreative when it comes to concept! they onli seems to take care of the methods the " standard procedures" of marketing! 

recently boss told me about his direction for me next yr..hmm something he mentioned " u will be involved in marketing of...." my pt of view frankly: "i dont wan to be involved i wan to be the one doing it!" 

uess all the years of experience in this design industry..just makes me "kuku" over it..not tat i lost interet in design, but just its simply not enuff to earn those $$$.......and satisfaction! sitting at the desk dealin with illustrator's software, tryin to rush out some last min works, certainly not satisfying at all..if i live i wana do great thing! not just in monetary terms, but self satisfying terms as well...

design besides about its ethics..its about sales sometimes or rather most of the times esp in this competitive world's context..design is a process..marketing is the product..

oh well..............im finally getting sleepy.....time to bath n sleep again!

alone in office again..really tired touching up those pictures...just hear this song "lazy" from the web channel...suits my mood now..i realli feel like just lazing around now..im bored with works..oh well..i have been wondering how this old friend is doing now...or rather..he pop into my mind once in awhile.......when i hear some songs, saw some words...feeling certain ways....miss those chats in wee hours of the nite........miss those passion and communication.....inspiration.....well....

but sometimes..there are just some people...who i will nv tell them i miss them...be it pride or just something are better kept a secret...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=R9dWMhSJq0c

aww!!!! this is so awesome!!! it realli gets me high!!!! we should live life like the intensity of tokyo ska music isit....

guess this is one thing missing out in the life here..intensity is the perfect word to fit into the scene here! pple are living either too comfortably or they just cant bother about living with passion and rhythm! or they are too stressed to even realise what is meant by intensity! 

well maybe im kinda an extreminist, so im attracted to intensity! i have been thru the roller coaster ride of my life...hit the pit bottom...lived with excitement, fear, love, curiousity, hatred....tho i may have to say the pit bottom part is terrible once in awhile i fell back there in solitude again..but well life is like a bouncing ball isnt it? the harder u hit, the higher it bounce and faster with every rhythmic hit u slam! dare to love and hate! dare to feel and fear! dare to jump and hop! haha watching the tokyo ska performance realli makes me wana fly and join in such concerts man! the onli time i get to jump and hop was at zouk and a german pub during octokberfest last yr, but it just doesnt give me that sense of satisfaction..i can sense eyes rolling at my direction following wherever i hopped. jeez! whats wrong with being myself being with the music i like and feeling as a whole, flowing with it! isnt that what music is all about, or life is all about...

just got my glass of vodka here drinkin away!!! yea in the middle of the nite getting high alone..isnt so bad sometimes.............................

surfing on jap street fashion now...tokyo tokyo tokyo!!!